You’re Right Where You Need To Be

There will be moments in your life when you feel stuck.
Moments when you feel left out; lost; alone; forgotten.
Moments when there are no ideas, no direction, and no pathways.

There will be moments when you can’t stand the skin you’re in.
Your life may spread before you like a giant, starless sky…vast, dark and empty.
You will want to expand; explode, or implode…anything other than this.

These moments may frighten you.

They might make you question everything you know.
Burn it up. Tear it down. Start all over. Run away.
Maybe you should. Maybe you shouldn’t.
My challenge for you, when you encounters these moments, is to stay.

Just stay.

Sit in the dark for a while.
Maybe even accept it.
Maybe even find relief in the unknowing.
Breathe it in; breathe it out.

Because even though you might not see it yet, something is happening.
Birth is happening. Life is happening. Death is happening.
You’re like a whole galaxy of stars that glimmer and fade and glimmer again.

We sink into the dark so we can experience the exquisite return of light.
Your job is to allow the experience of it; whatever it may be.

And listen.

Listen carefully to the quiet unknown.
Listen to the dark.
Listen to the silence.
Listen to the feeling of being lost.

If you’re listening, you won’t miss a thing.
You’ll catch the next spark just as its being born.
The light will burst out from within.
And you’ll be graced with a new path; a brilliant idea; a fresh perspective.

And you’ll realize that you were never lost.
You are always right where you need to be…
Right here.
Right now.

RightWhereYouNeedToBe

Indescribable Moments of Perfection

I breathe in, and before I breathe out completely, the moment has ended.

It is another end to another long day.

I have fed, cleaned, changed, cared for, failed, endured, triumphed, loved, enjoyed, denied, resisted, began and ended, again and again and again…

Together we sink into the wide, deep chair that sits next to his crib. His scent intoxicates and hits me like a memory—he smells like heaven.

The moment we settle, I pull him close. Both arms engulf his tiny frame as I pull him against my heart and we fit like two hands holding.

He nuzzles his downy hair beneath my chin and I breathe the longest breath I can contain, because I know, that by the time that breath expels from my body, the moment will be over.

He loves holding his own space already.

He pushes away and sprawls out wide like a puppy waiting for a tummy rub. We enjoy the last few moments of another day together this way.

These are the moments worth living for—the indescribable moments of perfection;

A lover’s kiss.
Morning light.
The scent of rain.
Waves crashing.

These are the moments that remind you that you are loved.

Words can’t quite grasp it; and really, they don’t have to—because you already know. You may not be able to explain it or define it, or even remember the details of whatever it is, or was, or will be. But you know it when you’re in it. You know it when you smell it, see it, hear it, taste it, touch it, and breathe it in like a melody you’ve been in love with all your life. And it’s because of these moments that you keep trying, failing, loving, regretting, fighting, forgiving, winning, laughing, crying and everything above, below, and in between.

It is a glimpse of Grace.
…a slice of light.
…a sliver of recognition.
It is the grandest of all things caught in the quiet; the small; and the tender.

It is the remembering.

The indescribable moments of perfection in your life are the reminders of where you’ve been, where you’re going, and the opportunity to experience it here. Right here. Right now.

Don’t wait for it to come to you.

Call it up in every moment.

Fight for it. Live for it. Breathe for it. Love for it.

This is your life, and within it, is everything. Everything you can imagine, and so much more.

Look inside and draw it close.

Search for the indescribable moments of perfection in the tiniest moments and smallest spaces; in open vistas and grand adventures. Call it up and let the magic of the moment sparkle and shine from your eyes as a reminder to others to search for what belongs to them also.

And when you find it, take it all in, like a long, lost lover;

One inhale.
One exhale.
One more reason to love.

And be grateful.

perfectmoments

You’re struggling? Perfect. Here’s why that’s good news.

I know…feeling crappy isn’t usually synonymous with ‘good news’ and when you’re in the middle of it, looking on the bright side of things might make you want to puke. I totally get it. And believe me, I don’t want to be the obnoxious cheerful type telling you that it will all be over soon, or that things will get better, because I’ve been in that dark hole, and the last thing you want to hear is someone telling you over and over again that it’ll all be okay….even if it’s true.

What I do want to share with you is that hanging out on the dark side of things for a while can initiate a pretty brilliant transformation. A lot of magic happens in the dark….budding butterflies, sprouting seeds, ideas that have yet to see the light of day, and of course, baby making, (both in the womb and prior…wink, wink).

My point is this: that black hole that you might visit from time to time isn’t at the bottom of a pit—it’s a passageway that’s leading you somewhere. It’s guiding you toward a stronger, wiser, more compassionate version of yourself. That despair you feel? Its called evolution, baby, and you’ve got to go through it in order to see what’s waiting for you on the other side.

So if you find yourself feeling like you’re stuck at the bottom of a pit, start digging. Ask yourself what’s going on here? Is there something that needs to be released or something that needs to be awakened? What do you need to learn from all of this, and how can you speed up the process of understanding so you can step back into the light of day?

And if you’re in it, like, right now? Don’t feel guilty for it. Give yourself time. Let yourself be angry. Cave into the confusion. Allow yourself to be swallowed up by sadness. And be there for as long as it takes, because you’re in a process of growth, and growth takes time and darkness, and sometimes a lot of tears because you’ve got to release in order to make space for something new.

Don’t shy away from the dark. Jump in; cozy up to it, and start loving yourself no matter where you are, because you’re right where you need to be.

Oh, and get ready, because once you resurface, you are gonna shine brighter than you ever thought possible.

This post originally appeared on my first blog, www.emilyparkinsonperry.com on April 2, 2015.