The In’s and Out’s of Setting Goals

It’s the start of a new year, and I really wanted to write a post about goal setting, because I love goal setting…and goal getting…and goal planning and…pretty much all of it. But I couldn’t write the post.

Believe me, I tried. I started. I stopped. I wrote and rewrote…but I could.not.write.the.damn.post.

And I think it’s because it’s not really resonating with me this year, because as much as I love goal setting, and as I already mentioned, I especially love goal-getting, it’s not what I’m going for this year. I’ve got so much on my plate, and so much to care for and nurture already, that all I really want to do is focus on what I’ve got going on right now. In this moment.

Because I really believe that it’s about going in; not out.

Goals are always so far out there for me. And it’s fun to go after them; to chase after the dream and maybe even catch up to one once in a while. But I wonder what’s happening right here while I’ve got my sights set on something out there? I think sometimes I might be missing out on all the good stuff happening right under my nose.

So that’s what it’s all about for me this year. It’s about sinking into the stuff I’ve got going on right in this moment. These words. And next, it might be about savoring the glass of wine that’s sitting next to me. And then it might be about bath time with my sweet baby boy. And then next, then next, then next….who knows? But I can tell you one thing: I want to be there. All the way there. Not just half-assed with my head in the clouds thinking about tomorrow’s plans or yesterday’s conversation, or all the big goals I’m lining up for the future.

My goal this year is to see how far I can sink into NOW.

I guess I could say it’s about depth not breadth; dropping in, not out; experiencing the big things and the little things and the every thing’s in between. It’s about living in the only space that’s real.

Of course, I’ll keep a little bit of the dream cast out around me, and as I hold my awareness steady right here in this moment, maybe, just maybe, that dream will rise up from inside of it. Because there’s one thing I’m sure of: the only way any goal is achieved or any dream realized, is right through the middle of NOW; so that’s where I’ll be waiting.

yogaimage3

Do What You Love and the World Will Love You Back

A few years ago, my husband and I joined some friends for a ski weekend at a resort nestled in a small community. At the end of the day, we gathered in the lodge for good food, good beer and live music. The mood was mellow as we enjoyed the satisfying fatigue that comes after a full day of skiing. The band consisted of a few local folks who likely traded their time playing music for dinner and a beer. It was an eclectic group of middle-aged men dressed in flannel shirts and work boots, and one unassuming woman. (Unfortunately, I don’t remember the name…) As they took their place in the corner of the room, guests continued to talk among themselves.

As the band began to play, the energy of the room shifted. The tiny clusters of conversation that scattered around the room all stopped to listen. As the members synced up with one another, their energy enveloped the entire room and we couldn’t help but be drawn in.

And then this incredible, powerful, woman stepped up to the mic. This woman, who moments before could have disappeared into the shadows, stood with so much presence that even the pause of silence before she cleared her voice demanded full attention.

She began to sing.

Raw. Radiant. Robust.

I was hooked.

The energy of this woman and this band continued to light up the room, and every person was dancing, moving, grooving, and enjoying the power that comes from a group of people who share what they love to do with others.

And that is the key. They were in love with what they were doing. In love with the music. In love with the performance. In love with each other and each of us. That kind of passion and joy is what draws people in. As an audience, we couldn’t help but be in love with them, too. It doesn’t matter if you’re sharing your gifts with 3 people or 30,000 people…It’s about going all in with whatever lights you up, and not being afraid to show your enthusiasm for it.

Whatever you ache for, excites you, brings you pleasure, lights you up, and opens your heart is your thing. That’s your gift; it’s the thing that you are here to express and share with the rest of us. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense or fits in with the norms of society. If you love it, that’s the only sign you need.

And what if you’ve never discovered passion like that?

Keep searching, because it’s there.

Sometimes we deny ourselves pleasure for so long that it begins to atrophy, and we’re not even sure what we want or enjoy anymore. If that’s the case, you’ve just got to start working out those pleasure centers of your body—just like building a muscle, you can build up your relationship to pleasure. Start by indulging in the little things that bring you joy. What would you like to do now? Do whatever small thing is possible at the moment. Maybe you want to eat ice cream for breakfast, or go for a drive just because it feels good to get away. Maybe you want to watch a cheesy movie, or doodle on a scratch pad. Whatever it is; do it like it’s the most important thing in the world—because when you meet it in the moment—it is.

Place pleasure at the center of your day. It doesn’t mean you have to skip out on all of your obligations, just shift your perspective to recognize that your joy and pleasure is critical. It is what leads you to the gifts you have to bring to the world.

And once you’ve found something you love; go all in.

Step through all the fear, all the doubt, all the insecurity and excuses and reasons why it doesn’t make any sense…and share it with the world, because that is when you draw people in and give them the gift of you.

Step into what you love.

Share what you love.

Be what you love.

And the world will love you back.

mandala2This beautiful Sun Lotus Mandala is a wood carving created by my talented friend, Mike Langenheim. Check out more of his work at www.michaellangenheim.com

A Note to Parents: Because You’re Worth It

I totally get it. I know that you are busy. I know that it’s pushing it to get a luxurious ten minute shower, let alone pursue your passion, but let me put a little spin on the matter:

When it comes to your children, what you do is way more important than what you say.

You can tell your kids all day long how important it is to love themselves, follow their passion, and pursue their dreams, but if they don’t see you doing it, then all that talk is well….just talk. And I know that it’s hard to justify pursuing your passion when you’re trying to help your kids pursue theirs, but what if you looked at it in a new way? Instead of seeing it as time you take away, what if you see it as something  you give?

What if you do it for them?

Take time for yourself for them.
Follow your dream for them.
Accomplish your goals for them.

And what if that’s not the way you were taught? What if your own parents put everything aside and dropped off their passions for the sake of yours?

Do it for them, too.
And for their parents, and theirs.

Being a parent isn’t about cutting out the essence of you. You’re still creative, smart, passionate and beautiful, and you have unique ways of expressing those gifts. You don’t have to choose being a parent over self-expression; you can have both.

Start small if you have to.

Daydream everyday; like it’s your job.
Instead of doing dishes, do yoga.
Work on your novel while the kiddo’s take swim class.
Pull out the paints for them and for you.
Drop ‘em off at dance, and then go dancing.

Whatever feeds you, will feed them also.

You know why?

Because the commitment you make to yourself will show them how important it is to commit to themselves. And because your drive, your desire, and your passion for what you love, will show them how to love and nurture their own unique gifts and talents.

Fill your cup, so they know what it looks like to fill their own.

Do it for them.
And do it for you.

Because they’re worth it, and so are you.

notetoparents

Welcome!

Dear brilliant, beautiful, you: Thank you. Thank you for coming here. Thank you for following your hunch, or your heart, or accidentally clicking on the wrong link as you stumbled into this space… whatever the case may be…I’m glad you’re here.

Let me tell you why.

Because the world needs you. I need you. YOU need you.

This space is about listening to your heart, getting clear about what you want, calling back your power, and channeling your energy toward YOUR true calling. Yes, you have a purpose, a path, a true calling; it’s why you’re here. And it’s kind of a big deal because your true calling fills a void that the entire world aches for, and you are the only one who can fill it. I know that might sound sort of mysterious and magical, and maybe a little bit crazy, but it’s true. It’s true for you and it’s true for every single person on the planet.

Okay, now what? So, you’ve got this ‘true calling,’ and maybe you know exactly what it is; maybe you have a vague idea, or maybe you don’t have a clue. That’s okay. You’re here because you’re ready to find out. It’s important for you to know that your purpose isn’t something you have to go out and search for, because its already part of you—it’s just waiting to be discovered. What I’m sharing here will just help you recognize it, call it up from inside of you, and give you the courage to share it with the world.

I hope you’ll stick around; scroll down for my most recent posts, or peruse the site for ways to stay connected to yourself and the gifts you have to offer.